It has been a while since I last posted. If you haven't read my last post, read it and you will see what I mean. But a lot more has happened since then. Ronnie lives with us now, and each day is a challenge. Being newly-wed and having to adjust to having a husband, I also have a step-child to get use to. So those two things alone are difficult. Then I started a new job last July, Eli started a new job sometime in August and trying to adjust to all these changes is difficult. God has gotten us through all that though! But now we have Ronnie living with us, just another addition to the may things to get accustom to. Everyone is up at different hours, different body temperatures which means different desires for the temperature of the house, one bathroom for all four people (and it seems I take the least amount of bathroom time too..just an FYI!!) and the list goes on. But we are managing to not kill each other by the grace of God. He continues to provide.
Another adjustment in my life was my dad having a stroke in November, after being diagnosed with lung cancer in September. He had just gone through his second treatment and it happened. It it scary. He is doing well now, still doing therapy. I just do my best to keep his spirits up. :)
Christina started softball about a month ago, so my just when I thought my schedule couldn't get more full, it did. But I am super happy that she loves it, and for a kid that has not had any "formal" training she is great at it...a natural!! She started playing the clarinet in band, and has gotten really good at that too! I am glad she is dipping in several thing now, it will help her decide what she would like to do later in life.
But just when things are calming down some new stuff arises. The place I work is opening a new hospital and they are shifting people around, trying to find who will go where. Still not sure where or what I will be doing, but at least I have a job and they WANT me. Also, Eli's beautiful blue car was stolen today...nothing is safe anymore. :( But thankfully we have full coverage insurance, so that will help a lot.
But you know, as I go through all this I ask God, why? What did I screw up so bad that all this keeps happening. I mean I don't expect to have a peaceful, happy-every-second-of-the-day life, but something has give. But as I look back, God has provided. He blessed us with a house that could fit the four of us. He gave me job that gives me structure, a set schedule (so I know what I will be working all the time, makes it a lot easier to plan), and where people appreciate me and tell me they appreciate me. Eli's job and promotion (praise God!!) make it so we have the money for the things we need (like expensive dental work!!) and the things we want without struggling. And the list goes on.
The thing is, I don't deserve, nor have the right to know 'why?' God made me. Granted, I don't always appreciate that fact, but most of the time I do. My attitude has been all wrong towards the things that have been going on in my life, not to mention I stay so focused on the negative things, I don't get to see the beautiful and wonderful things God has given me.
We recently had a revival at church. We talked about trials in life. Everything in my life, God has a purpose for. I may not see this purpose right now but God has one. Also, the Bible study my Sunday school class is doing, 'The Battle Belongs to the Lord' falls right in line with the revival topics. It is talking about transformation and and the battles we go through in life. But looking back and seeing my reactions to the situations, makes me see what COULD be the purpose. God is teaching me patience and trust in Him. I want things in a very particular way at a very particular time. God is showing me that things don't work in my time, no matter how much planning I do. I need trust God that thing will be okay and quit relying on myself so much because I am human and nothing, no one but God is perfect. No matter how much I try to make things perfect, they won't be. If I continue stressing on perfection and structure and don't learn patience and trust in others, I will probably have a heart attack or aneurysm in the next 10 years! I don't like living my life stressed and concerned about everything, and I think this is God's way of breaking me of this behavior. Now I know some of you are thinking "There is nothing wrong with being concerned about things." But the degree to which I am concerned and worried about things is not healthy. I can bring myself to tears in the blink of an eye focusing on what will happen 2 months from now with the stuff that is going on. In reality, all the worry and concern I have most of the time is unfounded (discovered from personally experience); I just haven't learned that lesson. But I am happy to say that it is slowly working for me. Even if patience and decreasing my stress level in reaction to events, isn't God's purpose, it is still super beneficial for me.
Now this may all seem random to you, but it is how it circles around in my head and therefore how it comes out. I didn't proofread all this, because frankly, it's a lot to proofread and I don't feel doing it!! :) So hope you were enlightened some by thins...until next time, have a great weekend!!
